Povert

It’s been almost a year since I last wrote about happiness (and the clarification).

Now seems like a good time to write a little more.  I came across something about burnout on slashdot (and the linked nymag article).  Interesting stuff.

One excerpt of note is the statement, “… happiness equals reality divided by expectations.”  Which is a corny way of saying what Bertrand Russell said a long time ago — Unhappiness stems from a misunderstanding of reality.

Of course it’s easy for the pessimist to misinterpret both statements.  They might reply, “well, then, I’ll expect absolute shit so that I won’t be disappointed.”  Which is not the implication at all (I can’t imagine that happiness equaling a divide-by-zero error is a good thing).  Not to mention, someone who makes a statement like that is already bitter, disappointed and most likely they thrive on it.  Anyway, what the receiver of this advice is challenged to do is to not have irrational or outlandish expectations.  Unfortunately, people who hold such expectations obviously don’t view them as irrational or outlandish, otherwise (one would hope) they wouldn’t seriously hold them.

The article really caught my attention because it highlighted something I’d been struggling with — burnout at work is not caused by workload.  Not necessarily, anyway.  Don’t get me wrong.  My workload can (and often does) get crazy and is a source of stress.  On the other hand, I am quite happy in general.  I think I’ve sustained this level of moderate, even-keeled happiness for a long time now.  At least a year.  Probably more like 2.  I’m not sure exactly what has changed.  Perhaps it’s due to a number of things — transplanting myself to Minnesota (could have been anywhere, really, and from anywhere) and living entirely on my own for a long time (three years now?) among them.  A change of environment worked wonders for my state of mind.  This was actually an interesting point of debate between Jason and myself, though I’m not entirely sure whether that debate occurred on the phone or on this blog.  I’ve also had some relatively even-tempered relationships in the past few years — much in contrast to a few volatile, tumultuous relationships I had while in the southwest.

On the other hand, I do lead a very solitary life.  Sure, I’ll hang out with friends on weekends.  Work permitting, I’ll enter bar poker tournaments during the week.  Overall, though, I spend my time at work and at home.  Honestly, I’m usually just too tired to do much of anything during the week.

A solitary life is apparently a cause of burnout, simply because there are fewer outlets for an individual.  Luckily, I do things to fill in those gaps — I play online poker, video games, etc.  Still, it’s a major factor.

I learned that quite dramatically the last time I visited Las Cruces.  Just spending a week with family and friends did wonders for me.  My chest pains went away entirely, and did not return until several weeks after I returned.  I felt refreshed when I got back.  Interestingly, my mood (by my perception, anyway) didn’t change much — I was happy before, during and after the vacation.  There were only three things that changed — I was in a different geographical location, I was with family & friends and I wasn’t working.

It’d be a mistake, I think, to emphasize any of those factors too much over each other.  To wit — I like my job.  The culture at my company is great.  I’d turn down a substantial increase in salary from another company with a significantly different culture.  Really.  That’s not to say that it isn’t a source of stress — of course it is.  I took on a new role in the last several months, and the company has been reorganized.  No matter how well it all works out in the end, that’s gonna cause stress and frustration (for example, when being informed that our group would get a new boss — the third in about as many months — one co-worker asked, “And who will be our boss next week?”  Luckily, our company’s culture thrives on such honest yet sarcastic commentary).

Likewise, geographical location shouldn’t be overvalued — sure, the weather is great down there.  But that visit was in late summer, so there’s not as much dramatic difference between there and here as there is, say, in the wintertime.

Family and friends?  Of course that’s a significant factor.  But I’ve got plenty of family and friends here, too.  Granted, they are different family and friends, but on a purely detached, psychological level, family & friends are family & friends.  Hell, watching a favorite sitcom has similar psychological effects as spending time with friends (no pun intended — indeed, I must enthusiastically deny that pun because I never much liked that show).

I think, personally, that my main cause of burnout is too much routine.

On one hand, routine is good.  Successful people stick to routines (if you believe what some books would have you believe, anyway).  I read something about a study showing that people who eat the same food on a regular basis enjoy their food more, counterintuitive as that may seem.  I’m the kind of person, though, who goes in streaks.  When I was an adolescent and teenager, I was obsessed with magic.  Slight of hand, etc.  I got really good at it too.  Unfortunately (though fortunately for my sex life), I eventually burned out on it.  I’ve returned to it every few years, if briefly.  I was into collectible card games as a young adult.  I never returned to that, but I do play poker now, and get much enjoyment from it (as much as I may criticize some of the more annoying personalities who are attracted to the game — poker is interesting in that it lays bare peoples’ personalities, and it’s not always pretty).  I’ve done the same with video games.  Programming too.  My interest in philosophy (and the like) follows a similar course, though not to the same degree — philosophy can be, in one sense, not so much an activity as it is a disposition.  Nevertheless, with all these things I have periods of intense interest followed by periods of diminished, though not extinguished, interest.  And yes, I do the same thing with varieties of food.

In short, I like to shake things up a little.  Not to the extreme of some people who need constant novel stimulation, but over a relatively long-term period.

That’s a long-winded way of saying, “Breaks are good.”  However, I think it is helpful to understand and examine the details.

Another major cause of burnout, for myself anyway, is uncertainty.  Whether it’s about a job (re-org madness), financial problems, personal conflicts, etc.

Too much routine mixed (paradoxically, almost) with uncertainty can cause anyone to burn out.

Am I burned out?  I don’t know.  I don’t think so.  One thing that’s helped is that we’ve recently hired another programmer for my team.  At least now I can concentrate on the more pressing matters.

Regardless, I have a lot of the symptoms.  Sleeping problems (though that’s not unusual for me), easily getting frustrated, etc. have plagued me.  Believe me, I’m no fun to talk to after work.  I need that decompression period.  I’m not angry or mean.  I just don’t want to talk.  I can occasionally be talked into an after-work beer, and that sometimes loosens me up.  As a rule, though, I like to go straight home and either read (usually on the web) or play video games or poker.

Anyway, I’ll be visiting Las Cruces again very soon.  And believe me, I’m looking forward to it.

I don’t know how to say this without upsetting the person who does this. So I’ll just put it out there in case someone else is tempted to do something like this.

Please don’t give my email address out. Don’t click “recommend to a friend” on some website and put my email in there. Really. Just send me a real email and tell me about the kickass website.

Why? Spam. I used to have “good” email addresses. Ones that I used with only a small group of people (friends and family). Those email addresses now get spam. And I hate spam.

It’s bad enough that most people I know use windows, and that a virus can grab my email from whatever they store email addresses in. Just handing it out to people doesn’t help.

Like I said, people get all hurt when I ask them not to do it. So here’s my public, generic plea.

Saw this over on slashdot: Slashdot | Creationism Museum To Open Next Summer

The article it discusses is here.

Ok, so the Grand Canyon was created by Noah’s Flood. That flood didn’t happen to hit anywhere else, did it? Because I’d think we’d have more huge canyons all over the place. Unless the Grand Canyon is the spot just below the garden hose God used to drown millions of people. How silly of me to overlook the observationally-established truth.

Sorry — complaining about this stuff is basically useless. I know.

This excerpt just about sums it up:

On the shelf behind Ham’s desk lie several surprising books, including Richard Dawkins’ latest. “I’ve skipped through it. The thing is, Dawkins does not have infinite knowledge or understanding himself. He’s got a position, too, it’s just a different one from ours. The Bible makes sense and is overwhelmingly confirmed by observable science. It does not confirm the belief in evolution.”

Yeah. He’s skipped through it and determined that Dawkins doesn’t have infinite knowledge. Therefore, since his beliefs contradict that of the bible, he’s wrong. Great.

The best part is this exchange:

But if you believe in the Bible, why do you need to seek scientific credibility, and why are Creationists so reluctant to put their theories to peer review, I ask?

“I would give the same answer as Dawkins. He believes there is no God and nothing you could say would convince him otherwise. You are dealing with an origins issue. If you don’t have the information, you cannot be sure. Nothing contradicts the Bible’s account of the origins.”

This, in a nutshell, is exactly how these guys go about their arguments. They never answer serious criticism. Any weaknesses in their position they try to downplay by diverting attention. Whether or not Darwin believed in God has nothing to do with the question.

More than anything, though, I’ve learned that arguing with people about this is usually pointless. It really degrades into a competition to confuse each other, not a serious attempt to rule explanations out.

And if there are several people involved, and one or two of them (of either persuasion) are a bit too enthusiastic, it’s better to just walk away.

Finally, I’d just like to point out this excerpt, which is so full of irony my brain shuts down:

We pass the site where one day an animatronic Adam will squat beside the Tree. With this commitment to authenticity, I find myself asking what they are doing about the fig leaf. Marsh considers this gravely and replies: “He is appropriately positioned, so he can be modest.There will be a lamb or something there next to him. We are very careful about that: some of our donors are scared to death about nudity.”