I think it was the Spring or Summer of last year. We were arguing about something; I don’t recall what. I’ve got an Apple TV which we often use to listen to music. At one point I stomped out to the deck in a huff.

I sat out there for a few minutes. My mood soon turned to just wanting to reconcile, but it was one of those fights that can’t blow over that quickly.

Except I had a secret weapon.

If you use this, use it sparingly. Like once or twice, ever.

I pulled out my iPhone and opened the Remote app. Then I queued up “Embraceable You,” sung by Billie Holiday. It was our first dance at our wedding.

So it started playing inside, where Kelly was. It took maybe 20 seconds for her to come out and kiss me. All was forgiven.

Not bad for a nerd, eh?

The last few months have been fairly trying. Two friends of mine have killed themselves since July. One was a partner in Flapping Crane, and the other was a childhood friend I haven’t talked to for a very long time. I went to Eric’s funeral. Couldn’t bring myself to go to Nick’s.

My dad sometimes tells stories about friends who killed themselves. It always seemed so alien to me before. I guess as you get older and meet more people, the chances of someone you know killing themselves goes up. Those are just the odds. That doesn’t make it easier to deal with. But it does help explain it, sort of.

There’s been some other crap that’s made life a bit stressful, but I won’t talk about it here, because I like being mysterious, like a squirrel with a cape. Why does he have that cape? Does he realize how badass it makes him look? Squirrels are nuts, yo.

I’m currently mulling wiring my house with Cat 6. Probably going to do it through air ducts, with a wiring closet in the basement. Seems like a nice way to avoid some of the more confusing pitfalls of wireless.

This Thursday, the wife and I are going to a live(ish) Riff Trax show, which should be a blast. Friday night, my dad and I are going to enter a poker tournament. I fully expect to last at least 15 minutes, though I’m possibly being overly optimistic.

It’s raining outside now. Dig that sound.

I’ve been using euphemisms in posts and tweets until now, but it seems weird to keep doing that.

It’s been an odd month.  I don’t quite know what to make of it.  I’ll just say: anyone who’s had to deal with a friend or family member killing their self knows how strange the aftermath is.  It’s sad and awful, but you keep going.  And it’s just  strange.

We’ve had a page up for Eric on Flapping Crane since a few days after he died.  That page has been the home page.  We’re going to stop making it the home page later today, and we’re going to debut a new skit.  I don’t know how this should work, so I’m just doing it.  It’s kind of like the video I put together for his family.  At a certain point, debates about how sad or happy the music was became irrelevant, because there was no right answer.  And I don’t think there is a right time to get back to dick jokes, but we’re just going to do it, damn it.

It’s weird and screwed up, but this has revitalized us.  I don’t know if it’s a fear of our own mortality, or guilt, or what.  I don’t know if this will be short-lived or if this is the start of another long period of creative output.  I’d like to think it’s us realizing that we’re only here for a short time and we should do what we can with what we have.  I’ve never been under any illusion that these stupid skits will get us anywhere.  I’ve only put up skits when they’ve made me and the rest of the guys laugh, and we have stupid, idiotic senses of humor.  But the point is we’ve been shooting.  A lot.  They’re all short, granted, but some of them have been in the works for years.

I don’t know how to do any of this.  I didn’t know the etiquette on Facebook and Twitter, I didn’t know what to say to his family and I don’t know what to even think of it or what to put on the site.  I’m alternately depressed and a little angry.  But mostly, right now, I almost feel nothing.  I’ve spent the last month capturing footage from the past 6 years, and his suicide doesn’t feel real.  I see him every day, cracking jokes, making stupid faces, busting us up with his insane humor.  He’s not dead to me yet.  He’s just gone.

Anyway, I guess I’ll just say what I’ve been up to.

I picked up a turntable about a month ago. I went through my parents’ basement and found some good records (including some that were mine), so I figured I’d pick one up. It’s got a USB output, which is handy.

So I’ve been picking up vinyl here and there. I pre-ordered the vinyl remaster & cd of Nirvana’s Bleach (that should be here mid-November). I’ve grabbed a few John Lennon records, a Marvin Gaye and some 45s from Half Price Books in Apple Valley.

Vinyl doesn’t sound particularly better to me than CDs — a lot of them sound worse due to wear, in fact. They are fun, though. Keep in mind that I’ve got a fairly large iTunes library. I’ve ripped/digitized nearly all media under our roof. DVDs, VHS, CDs, cassette tapes, photos, you name it (except books — I’m not completely insane). I’m in the process of re-ripping my CDs in a lossless format (though I’m looking for a seamless way to transcode it when syncing to my iPhone or streaming to my Apple TV). I appreciate the convenience once this media is in my library. Still, it’s fun every now and then to put a record on. And I’m planning on digitizing at least some of them (my George Carlin records in particular).

We also finished mounting our plasma and installing speakers in the ceiling. My receiver can do 7.1, but the room was wired for 5.1. I may run some more wire eventually. But it’s otherwise great for now. Great, except when Kelly is trying to sleep upstairs in our room, conveniently located directly above the living room. So it’s loud as hell up there.

Not much news on the Flapping Crane front. I was furiously working on a DVD set, but it turned out to be too hard on my right wrist. I’ve had to do a wrist brace, painkillers, wrist exercises, all that. I wanted to have something ready for November 22nd, which is five years since we launched flappingcrane.com. That’s probably not going to happen though. We’ll see.

The new website is pretty much ready to launch, though. I’m just delaying it because I know that I’ll have to spend about 3 days fixing previously-missed bugs, and my aforementioned wrist is holding it up in committee.

Finally, I’ve been itching to do something. Not sure what. Some music, some Flapping Crane stuff, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just build some shelves.

Things are coming along with the house. It got kinda scary there for a few days, but it’s going to work out. Here’s a video of the house.

We haven’t set a date yet, but we’re thinking January 2010, maybe in Florida. The time and location aren’t solid at all. We’re not sure yet. We’re in the process of trying to buy a home now, so we’re taking one giant life event at a time.

I’ve been listening to all unrated songs on my work laptop. It’s a small subset of of full music collection, but it’s got some good stuff in there.

I don’t recall ever getting that weird déjà vu feeling in my early and mid-twenties. That’s probably because that’s when those associations were being developed. Still, I was listening to Dinosaur Jr., Sonic Youth and Nirvana in my teens, and when I was in my twenties hearing that music never took me back in time. Now it does.

The weirdest one is The Strokes’ “Room on Fire”. It’s odd because the memories are so recent. Any song I hear from that album puts me in my car driving between Eagan and the Twin Cities in late 2004 / early 2005.

Another big one is Smashing Pumpkins’ “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness”. That usually puts me back to 1996-1997. Specifically in Las Cruces, NM, driving in my 1984 Buick Skylark to and from Scott’s house, where we’d often hang out, smoke cigarettes and play Magic.

Finally, the last major one I can think of is Beck’s “Sea Change”. Can you guess what one aspect of the memory associated with this is? Yep, driving in the car. This time to and from El Paso, TX from Las Cruces, NM. This was probably 2002 early 2003, after a particularly rough breakup. I would go to El Paso to buy clove cigarettes (this was me wanting to smoke, but purposely making it inconvenient). Someone had broken into my car and stolen my stereo, so I was listening to my music on a crappy little mp3 player. Listening with earbuds was probably not the safest way to drive.

I only mention all this for a couple reasons. First — WTF? Why is this happening now? Why wasn’t this happening 5 years ago? I think I know the answer to that, but it’s still weird. Second, and more troubling, is that these memories triggered because of specific music that I was listening to in the car. I don’t drive much these days — I live very close to work, and when I do drive, it’s brief. I also tend to listen to the radio. So I’m worried that I won’t have musical anchors to take me back when I’m, say, 40. I have a terrible memory, and music seems to be one of the few things that can jog it.

I take one thing back — Pearl Jam’s “Yield” was triggering that sorta déjà vu feeling as early as 5 years ago, I think. To this day, it reminds me of sometime around 1997-1999, rooming with Chris. We had a dumpy little apartment and my computer was in the kitchen. The specific memory is of modifying (I think) DikuMUD (?) to make a sort of “Poison Elves” MUD (if you know what Poison Elves was, congrats, welcome to the Nerd Club. If you know what both Poison Elves was and what a MUD is, then seek professional help). I remember adding an addiction element to the game — if your character smoked, he’d have to continue to smoke or suffer various physical consequences. I never made it public or did anything with it.

I’m trying to decide what kind of uncle I will be. I’ll definitely be the uncle who does magic tricks. But should I be the cool uncle who the nephews/nieces want to be babysat by, or should I be the totally rad uncle who the nephews/nieces want to be babysat by who also lets them watch PG-13 movies?

We’re finally moved in to the new place. 99.9%, anyway. Pretty much all that’s left is Kelly’s cats, which I’m trying to put off for the cats’ safety and for my own selfish desire not to die sneezing.

The main problem now is unpacking. Unfortunately, we don’t have the office or garage available to us right now, which complicates things. It’s a long story.

Anyway, I’m trying to get more acquainted with the area. I’ve spent a little time in St. Paul (at least the south and west parts), so I know where some places are, but I really don’t know much yet.

I’m pretty sure that I only really need to know where Rooster’s is, and I do, so I should be set.

Spent last weekend in Las Vegas. It was for Chris’s bachelor party. I hadn’t been to Vegas since I was about 17.

That is one insane town. I got there Friday afternoon. By Sunday morning, I had had a total of maybe 8 hours of sleep for the entire trip and I was ready to go home. But it was fun.

I took a shuttle from the airport to the Riviera, where we were all staying. Met up with Chris and Erik. It had been a long time since I last saw Erik — probably something like 6 years. So that was good.

I want to go back sometime with Kelly, but I definitely learned that Vegas exists to take your money. That’s all it’s there for. I didn’t gamble a penny and it still cost me. I had to actually be as frugal as possible since I’m moving very soon and I still spent a hefty chunk.

That said — if you go to Vegas and you have even an ounce of nerd in you, definitely check out Star Trek: The Experience at the Hilton. It was a blast. Way more fun than I thought it would be.

There are plenty of stories to tell about this trip. I’ll wait until more pics roll in to tell some of them, though.