Povert

The best things about this election being over:

• My mailbox will be under control. Snail-mail mailbox, that is. It was being choked by huge political mailings.
• If I watched TV, I’d be happy that all the negative ads are now gone. Negative Ads say that they have our best interests at heart, but Negative Ads attacked every candidate of every persuasion. Negative Ads wants to give candy to terrorists and persecute golfers. Negative Ads also probably molests children and mugs old people. Negative Ads puts the dishes in the dishwasher without rinsing them off first. We just can’t afford to trust Negative Ads. (I’m Joe “Let’s get Negative on Negative Ads” Lillibridge and I approve this message.)
• I get to snicker about how the Republicans’ stupid stink about immigration completely flopped.
• I get to be very polite to potentially angry relatives. I could almost be smug, except I have as little confidence in the Democrats as I had in the Republicans.
• Santorum got canned. Never thought much of that guy.
• Pelosi will probably be speaker of the house. I don’t care much either way about her, but I know people who foam at the mouth and gesticulate wildly at the drop of her name. So this makes me snicker as well.
• The Democrats seem to be moving more to the center. At least, significant Democrat winners were closer to the center. Boo to right- and left-wing politics.
• Split control of the government makes me happy. Slow-moving government makes me happy. Gridlock even often makes me happy. Really. People think I’m kidding when I say that.
• I’m more annoyed by house representatives than by any other elected officials. So I like to see them get their asses handed to them.
• Dumbass FOX pundits will finally have someone else besides Bill Clinton to blame for… pretty much anything (did anyone else see Hannity try to blame the Foley crap on Clinton?). Seriously, it’s been 6 years. At least now there will be some novelty to their bullshit.

I was going to list some bad things, but I’m so overjoyed that my mailbox will be usable again that I’ll abstain from bitching.

Update: Oh, and this.

I did my duty today. Voted for the least repulsive candidates.

Just kidding. They’re all repulsive. I just voted for the ones with the most inspiring odor.

Remember this guy? He ran again.

I threatened to actually vote for him. Well, threatened in my mind. But it was a stern, angry threat. Ok, it was a whimsical threat.

I am so anxiously awaiting the results of today’s election that, if it occurs to me, I may pause FF XII tonight and, if I’m not hungry for some chips or if I don’t have to use the restroom, I might pick up the remote (thinking it’s a hot, naked stripper, for some reason) and accidently turn on the news.

But I probably won’t.

Go Democracy! And pick me up a burger. Accidently and incoherently fondling the remote works up an appetite.

If you haven’t downloaded Don’t Download This Song by Weird Al, do yourself a favor and get it.

What I like most about this is that my memory of Weird Al is that he just did silly stuff. I know I had “Fat” when I was a kid. And yeah, this song is kind of silly, but it’s not that silly. I mean, he isn’t joking when he talks about grandmas and 7 year old girls getting sued by the RIAA.

My point is that this is a great “Fuck You” to the RIAA, and I like it.

Also, the “We are the World” thing kills me.

Check this out. Be sure to watch it all.