I’m feeling more reflective on this birthday than I normally do. There are reasons for that — the last year or so has been rough. There were some wonderful moments and events to be sure. My daughter was born 8 months ago. My son has blossomed into a clever kid with a ridiculous sense of humor and an eager curiosity. My wife has relentlessly impressed and humbled me.
There were some dark moments. We had two miscarriages. I always thought of that sort of thing rather abstractly until it happened to us. It’s hard to describe what it does to you (and anyway, I don’t want to describe it) and I hope most folks never have to deal with anything like that, though it’s distressingly common.
But driving around town today with my kid, fresh off a vacation spent with old friends from high school and college, it was hard not to feel like things have really clicked into place. I have a sort of happiness and comfort I don’t think I’ve had since childhood. And it really snuck up on me in a way that depression used to. This is way better, obviously.
I’ve been thinking more and more that I’ve let many friendships wither on the vine. I’ll try to correct that soon. It’s still difficult (because life), but I’ll try hard to carve out time.
Last year reminds me of 2010 in some ways. In that year, 2 friends of mine killed themselves. Kelly’s uncle killed himself as well. Kelly and I ran into heartbreaking difficulties conceiving. But the 2011 brought the birth of our son.
Now we have our daughter too and we have the family we strived for.
Plus, Star Wars Ep 7 came out and it kicked ass.